Have a need to poke a little fun? Share a little sarcasm?
Drop a little hint? Do it the old fashion way.
Send a message in a bottle.
First introduced to Key Wet in the 80's
New And Available Now .... CRANIAL RECTALITIS Extract Lotion .... Learn More Here
CRANIAL
RECTALITIS
Custom Blends For Politicians, Egotists,
Bureaucrats, Bosses, Xs & O-NOs and others
EXTRACT LOTION
TM
GET OUT OF THE DARK!
SEE THE LIGHT!
HEAR THE BIRDS SING!
SMELL THE ROSES!
"You Are Much Better Off With Your Head In The Clouds" - Tim
A Forty Year Adventure
After selling a business and getting divorced, me and an old service buddy were both fed up with our present geography.
He was In Toledo flying small twin engine passenger/cargo planes. I was in Hartford and had just sold a small business. We were both getting divorced and trying to escape from the winter. So off we went to Key West on what, I thought, would be just a nice vacation. I left 15 years later.
This was 1979/1980. Key West was expensive, even then, and just starting to crank. I was there on that Easter Sunday when a large group of gay guys put on their Sunday best and marched down Duval in an impromptu Easter parade. This is what was to, eventually, become Fantasy Fest. A year or two later, Dennis Wardlow stood on the steps of city hall and seceded. The Conch Republic was formed.
In the mid 80's I introduced BAR ROOM 'TAN' To Key West. It was a novelty body lotion with mythical qualities to soothe "Bar Stool Blisters" amongst other pseudo conditions such as "warm beer", "cold spouses" and "empty wallets". It met with some success but I was a single parent and money was tight and I let the idea slip away. I eventually returned to Connecticut and to vision care.
The idea never escaped my feeble mind. Now, 40 years later, as a 77 year old disabled veteran who has been diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia, I started dabbling with a website and that idea has taken on a mind of it's own. This project started as a hobby and if nothing else, it's fun.
I hope that someday it will be mine and the rest of the Mooners' ticket back to Key West for a great vacation. If nothing else, it keeps my mind active, as I attempt to defy the medical norm. I've visited Key West a few times since and I miss it more and more, every day.
NOT TO WORRY. We will continue to be here. My son, "Monkey" Dave is lurking in the background and prepared to step forward at any time.
​
Thank you so very much,
"Terrible" Tim
​
The Last Callers
"Terrible" Tim
FOUNDER
FLOUNDERER
I was just thinking. Not much of a resume for the years I worked in
Key West.
The Atlantic Shores - GONE
The Ramada Inn - GONE
The Key Wester - GONE
The Inn At The Wharf - GONE
Shucker's Raw Bar - GONE
Bayside Suites - GONE
Captain Hornblower's GONE
WoW
​
"Princess" Penny
PROPERTY
MANAGER
Penny and her husband, Peter, and her son, Matt have been friends for years. Unfortunately, Peter passed about a year ago and her son, Matt suffered an industrial accident about the same time.
A natural born nurse, the Princess has done more for my recovery than all the nurses, doctors, convalescent homes and hospitals, combined. I will always be indebted to her. Modern medicine sometimes tends to discount the human spirit - just my opinion.
"Chef" Matt
PRODUCTION
MANAGER
Matt is a Certified Auto Mechanic by trade. He is one of those guys who can fix anything and he is incredibly strong. He keeps our production line moving smoothly and as a hobby, he is becoming a superb cook. His rehab is progressing well.
"Mellow" Mushka
SECURITY
DIRECTOR
A 200 pound baby. This Old English Mastiff is the mellowest of dogs. UNLESS she senses a threat. She'll let out a growl that will rumble through the entire valley. At that point the threat decides it's time to leave and runs like hell.